I guess it took a day for the anesthesia to wear off cause day number 2 and 3 were hell. I do think the anesthesia is the culprit though.. lots of very painful gas..
The weekend at the race track did a great job with my emotions. I would have even forgotten that my baby died just a few days ago if I wasnt in soo much pain. Yesterday on the other hand brought it all back. I didnt realize how emotionally hard this would be. I must have said 20 times yesterday that I cant do this again.. but I want to try again.. I just dont know if I cant handle the anxiety or the loss if it happens. Will I want to try again after that?
To add fuel to the fire the drugs have brought back my fissure and now I get to add excruciating physical pain to the mix..wonderful
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