he keeps teasing me

I think I am doing well getting thru these days. I can smile and teach my classes, chat with my friends and get my work done, I even attended the big CAS party on Sat but every time I am alone the tears start to flow. I am glad I am getting the grieving done. I do feel it will help when it actually happens though I am positive my heart will break all over again when it does. On Friday I felt pressure in my uterus. It felt a bit like it did when I was pushing Sebastian out. From that moment on I felt normal again and very unpregnant. It was weird, there was no bleeding and the cramps stopped within minutes. I had a few more cramps on Saturday but only for a minute. From Friday night until Sunday afternoon I felt nothing but emptiness. I told myself that I was feeling him die. I was almost convinced I was never pregnant! Maybe I had just been delusional for the past 7 weeks. *shrugs*. Sunday afternoon the preggo symptoms hit me.. we took the kiddo to a ranch and introduced him to some animals. On the ride home I started feeling my uterus tingling. Its that feeling you get when you know there is a baby living inside. Its not movement from the baby, or gas, I can only describe it as a tingle. Just like I had for the entire 9 months I carried Sebastian. I was also exhausted, granted, I chased a kid around a farm but for an entire evening I felt pregnant again! I even told Rob how unfair my body is being teasing me by feeling like he is growing in there. I spent the night telling myself over and over again, dont get your hopes up, dont get your hopes up... This morning I woke up feeling pretty good and pretty normal but after a few hrs I started getting a bit nauseous and am currently feeling the tingle once again. I keep telling myself not to get excited. Its been this roller coaster of emotions and the damn ride operator just wont let me off. I suppose this is all normal. Its not like I can sit back and pretend that I wasnt diagnosed with a miscarriage just 4 short days ago. Anyway, I think that I am dealing with things healthily and am getting the most amazing support from my favorite people.
stats
no bleeding
no cramping for 2 whole days
small waves of nausea for a few minutes this evening
tingling uterus
my bump got a little more defined and its on the right side

This evening I noticed a pregnancy test in the bathroom. It took me 2 whole seconds to talk myself into peeing on it. I have never seen a line get so dark so fast. I took one on the 28th, a couple days before my blood draw and the T line was dark but not as dark as the C line. I monitored my levels in the beginning of the pregnancy by peeing on sticks and watching the lines get darker and darker every 2 days. The stick I peed on tonight had the darkest line ever and the T line is actually darker than the C line. (the C line is the one that shows up whether it detects the hormone or not. wtf? Are my levels going up? Is my baby surviving? or am I, once again, torturing myself with false hope? 2 days till we find out and I am so afraid of telling my brain that my baby might still be alive. Could I possibly get another miracle? My Doctor said these words "In my career I have only seen 1 woman carry a baby to term after seeing the levels NOT doubling the way they should". I am so confused. Come on little guy... we can do this! Just tell me what I can do to help!!